


I close my eyes

by BasicFangirl



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluffy?Maybe:), He's so cute, My own twist of Loki, Please read summary, Religion, That will make you understand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 14:41:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11420115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasicFangirl/pseuds/BasicFangirl
Summary: Hi,This is a small story that I have been very unsure if I should post or not. You will probably understand why. This is a religious fic. I am a christian and I sat for a long time just thinking about if I should post it or not. If it was going to be offensive etc. I decided to do it. But! If anybody feels offended by anything in it and you want me to change/take it down I will respect you to 100 % and make the change! I just want you to know this before you read ok :)Loki watches the reader pray and he has a really deep talk with her afterwards.It is a bit of a songfic :)Remember I will take it down if anyone finds it offensive ok!Hope you enjoy :)





	I close my eyes

I sit down on my bed while I put my necklace with a large wooden cross on it. The necklace symbolises that I believe. I believe in God. I believe in the Holy Spirit and I believe in Jesus. That I am a christian. Every night I bow down to pray as many christians do. For me it was a normal part of my nightly routine but the rest of the avengers it isn’t a normal thing to do which is why I hide away in my room to pray. I thought that tonight would be a normal night for everyone but my prayers affected Loki who without me knowing watched me as I prayed. 

 

A prayer for me is in music. In my church we sing a lot so I have a playlist with songs that I listen to and mouth to while God is there with me. He knows what I want without me having to tell him.

 

_ I’ve heard a thousand stories, _

_ Of what they think You’re like, _

_ But I’ve heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night. _

 

I whisper the words to the song as I bring my hands together and hold on like if God is going to go away if I let go of my hands.

 

_ And You tell me that You’re pleased, _

_ And that I’m never alone. _

 

I close my and look up to the sky. Up on God.

 

_ You’re a good good father, _

_ It’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are, _

_ And I’m loved by You, _

_ It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am. _

 

Still clutching my hands together tightly I bring my hands to my lips and quietly but with much affection sing the words to the songs into my hands.

 

_ I’ve seen many searching for answers far and wide, _

_ But I know we’re all searching  _

_ For answers only You provide, _

_ Cuz’ You know just what we need before we say a word _

 

As I listen to the second chorus of the song I start whispering my prayers into my hands.

 

_ You’re a good good father, _

_ It’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are, _

_ And I’m loved by you, _

_ It’s who I am, it’s who I am, It’s who I am, _

 

I stop whispering my prayers into my hands and continue silently singing along to the song.

 

_ You are perfect in all of Your ways, _

_ You are perfect in all of Your ways, _

_ You are perfect in all of Your ways, _

_ To us _

 

_ You are perfect in all of Your ways, _

_ You are perfect in all of Your ways, _

_ You are perfect in all of Your ways, _

_ To us _

 

While singing I silently start crying, not because I’m sad. Because of all the relief I get by telling someone else about my problems.

 

_ Love so undeniable, _

_ I, I can hardly speak, _

_ Peace so unexplainable, _

_ I, I can hardly think, _

_ As You call me deeper still, _

_ As You call me deeper still, _

_ As You call me deeper still, _

_ Into love, love, love _

 

Right before the last chorus I let both of my hands go and I put my palms up accepting God's forgiveness and love as I felt my tears silently streaming down my face.

 

_ You’re a good good father, _

_ It’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are, _

_ And I’m loved by You, _

_ It’s who I am, it’s who I am, It’s who I am. _

 

After the song I sit quiet and hope for my prayers to come true. When I open my eyes the first thing I see is a surprised Loki standing in my door.

 

So naturally the first thing I ask is “Uhm, how long have you been standing there watching me?”

 

Loki P.O.V

 

Truth to be told I had been standing in her door watching her for a bit longer than I should have done. I understood it was a private moment but my curiosity won over my manners so I stayed. What was she doing? I’ve never seen anything like this in all my years. 

 

_ You’re a good good father _

_ It’s who You are it’s who You are, it’s who You are _

 

Who is she talking about? The allfather? No probably not.

I see her bringing her hands to her lips and I see her whispering something into her hands. I am thinking that this could be religion since I heard her whisper  _ My God  _ into her hands. Is it christianity maybe?

 

Truth to be told I am very fascinated by this. She goes all in. Tears fall from her eyes yet she isn’t crying if that makes sense. She just silently let them fall and accepts them. After about two or three minutes she lets go of her hands which she previously held together and she raises her hands palms up as she is looking up to the sky with closed eyes. It looks as if she is accepting something. And I’m very curious about what she is accepting.

 

After a few seconds she brings her hands together again and start whispering unhearable things into her hands. Then she suddenly stops whispering things and she instead sits quietly with closed eyes. Then she smiles and opens them. For a second I see her expression. It looked like she didn’t have anything to worry about. Her eyes sparkled and she was just simply glowing. 

But then she saw me. And her eyes changed expression. My guilt wanted to turn it into a angry expression but she wasn’t angry she was just surprised and a bit insecure since this probably isn’t something she normally shows to people. Then she asks me about how long I’ve been standing there. And truth to be told I have been watching her longer than I should have.

 

She didn’t get mad at me.

 

She didn’t kick me out of her room because of me interrupting her privacy.

 

She just nodded and asked if I wondered anything about what she was doing.

 

“Why? Why didn’t you get mad at me? Most people would have.” I claim/ask her.

 

“Ehm, God forgives and so do I if I can.” She answers as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

 

“Who is this “God” you’re speaking of? There are many gods.”

 

“Maybe there is many gods, but there is only one God for me and that God is spelled with a capital G. It’s him I send my prayers to.” 

 

“Prayers? Do you pray about yourself or what do you pray about?”

“Yeah sure, among other things.”

 

“That sounds selfish, praying to get things.”

 

“It’s not selfish to pray. You don’t pray because you want a new phone. You pray because you want to become a better person. You also pray for others. You pray for those you love and those you hate. Jesus even tells us to love our enemies to be the better person.”

 

“Well… Who do you pray for except yourself?”

 

“I pray for the broken-hearted, I pray for the life not starting, the lungs that aren’t breathing and all the souls that need a break. I just close my eyes so I can see a better day. I close my eyes and pray.”

 

The way she said was as if it was the most obvious thing ever. To her maybe it was. Then she continued talking.

 

“I’ve prayed for all the avengers. Everyone who isn’t an avenger. Everyone I know and have known. Even you Loki.” 

 

“How do you do it Y/N? Just submit yourself to something you don’t know is true?” I ask her

 

In reply she just shrugged and smiled to me. Smiled like if she meant it. Not the pained smiles I get from most people. Just a real genuine smile filling making me feel happy. Then she caught my eyes in almost a death-stare yet it was nice and welcoming and said.

 

“You just close your eyes and see where you’ll go.”

 

Then she turned around and disappeared and left me alone in her room with my thoughts. I truly felt happy after this. I already know I’m too proud to give myself away like that to someone I don’t know if he exists but just knowing that she prayed for me made my heart clench and it put a smile on my face.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it was good!:)  
> Could you spot the Justin Bieber lyrics? Hehe :)


End file.
